Our mother often tried to hide things from us growing up.  We don’t know why she thought that would work; I mean, there’s eleven of us!  Surely SOMEONE would be able to locate the hidden stashes.  And we always did (although I don’t know if she ever realized that).  The most popular things she would stash:

1) M&Ms:  Our mother is a sucker for M&Ms.  I don’t blame her, who isn’t?  But she would hide bags of them in her underwear drawer.  I think this is a reasonable hiding location–it takes a lot of courage to dig around in there–but she often made the mistake of letting us know when she had a fresh supply.  Her favorite thing to do while watching TV is to put a bag of M&Ms in the cushions next to her and “sneak” a few every so often.

She actually believed she was being stealthy…

But it’s kinda easy to figure out what’s going on when she’s chewing on something and every so often reaches into the cushions.  And refuses to let you see what’s in the cushions.

2) Romance Novels:  And not the “I’m-mostly-a-mystery-or-drama-or-chick-flick-but-have-a-few-overly-explicit-scenes” kind of romance novels.  Oh, no.  She has a constant stash of the bodice rippers.  The ones with the sweaty, shirtless men on the covers dipping a sultry woman wearing a little silky slip.  Those ones.  I don’t even want to speculate about why she has that addiction.  Yucky.  She also hides these in her underwear drawer; that makes more sense to me than the M&Ms.

3) Anything needed to make the TV work.  Yes, this one’s a bit more obscure.  I don’t completely understand it, but whenever she isn’t going to be around to enjoy whatever’s being shown on TV, she tries very hard to make sure no one else can watch TV.  Maybe she’s afraid of missing out.  Or thinks we’ll watch porn.  Or thinks of the TV as her “special someone” and doesn’t appreciate sharing.  Whatever her reasons, she tries to very subtly hide a chord, remote, or something similar before she leaves the house.  When she gets back she acts suprised that the TV wasn’t working.  She stashes her TV stuff in her underwear drawer, or sometimes in the blankets.