So I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, but our mother can’t cook.

At all.

When big holidays come around, someone else always takes control of the kitchen.  We want to eat, and we don’t want to die.  We understand self-preservation.  But one year, our mother decided that she was going to do Easter dinner, and wouldn’t let any of us stop her.

So on Easter morning, she took a turkey out of the freezer and put it in a pan in the oven.

Twenty minutes later I came by (just to check up on it), and took the turkey out to remove the plastic wrapper.  You know, the wrapping that has the brand of turkey and nutritional info on it?

Twelve hours later, we had turkey for Easter dinner.  Nothing else.

We’ve managed to prevent her from cooking since then.

It’s okay, everyone doesn’t need to be a gourmet chef.  We don’t mind that our mom can’t cook.  We just mind it when she tries and forces us to eat it.  That’s just mean!

So if you can’t cook, you have a few options. 

Option 1: Learn, but please don’t force others to eat your crappy cooking along the way.

Option 2: Make other people cook.  I mean, it’s easier for you anyway!

Option 3: Become a take-out queen (or king)!

 And don’t offer to make Easter, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas Dinner.